Sunday, February 8, 2009

Today's Spiritual Message: Celestial Marriage


My wife recommended that today my Sunday message be the talk that I gave in church today. Hope you enjoy it.

  1. TOPIC - Patterns of the Shopper talk / Celestial Marriage
  2. GOALS OF THE TALK:
    1. Church lessons/instruction teach general principles
    2. Celestial marriage is the highest and most noble union and is essential to eternal happiness
    3. Marriage is not easy and it requires sincere effort from both parties

    Elder Oaks - CES Fireside 2005 (The Dedication of a Lifetime)

    Last week I was talking with a member of the Quorum of the Twelve about comments we had received on our April conference talks. My friend said someone told him, I surely enjoyed your talk.�We agreed that this is not the kind of comment we like to receive. As my friend said, I didn't give that talk to be enjoyed. What does he think I am, some kind of entertainer?�Another member of our Quorum joined the conversation by saying, That reminds me of the story of a good minister. When a parishioner said, �I surely enjoyed your sermon today, the minister replied, In that case, you didn't understand it.���

    You may remember that this April conference I spoke on pornography. No one told me they enjoyed that talk -- not even one! In fact, there was nothing enjoyable in it even for me.

    I speak of these recent conversations to teach the principle that a message given by a General Authority at a general conference -- a message prepared under the influence of the Spirit to further the work of the Lord -- is not given to be enjoyed. It is given to inspire, to edify, to challenge, or to correct. It is given to be heard under the influence of the Spirit of the Lord, with the intended result that the listener learns from the talk and from the Spirit what he or she should do about it.

  3. Comment
  4. As a General Authority, it is my responsibility to preach general principles. When I do, I don't try to define all the exceptions. There are exceptions to some rules. For example, we believe the commandment is not violated by killing pursuant to a lawful order in an armed conflict. But don't ask me to give an opinion on your exception. I only teach the general rules. Whether an exception applies to you is your responsibility. You must work that out individually between you and the Lord.

    The Prophet Joseph Smith taught this same thing in another way. When he was asked how he governed such a diverse group of saints, he said, I teach them correct principles and they govern themselves�� (quoted by John Taylor, in Millennial Star, 15 Nov. 1851, p. 339). In what I have just said, I am simply teaching correct principles and inviting each one of you to act upon these principles by governing yourself.

    Pasted from <http://www.ldschurchnews.com/articles/47286/Elder-Dallin-H-Oaks-The-Dedication-of-a-Lifetime.html>

  5. Comment about principles
  6. Why do we come to this earth?

    36 Behold, the Lord hath created the aearth that it should be binhabited; and he hath created his children that they should possess it.

    Pasted from <http://scriptures.lds.org/en/1_ne/17/36#36>

    Elder Christofferson

    The vicarious ordinances we perform in temples, beginning with baptism, make possible an eternal welding link between generations that fulfills the purpose of the earth’s creation. Without this, “the whole earth would be utterly wasted at [Christ’s] coming.”

    Pasted from <http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=e3cea1615ac0c010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&hideNav=1>

  7. Moses and the lord:
    • Behold, this is my work and my glory . . .

    22 And now, behold, if Adam had not transgressed he would not have fallen, but he would have remained in the garden of Eden. And all things which were created must have remained in the same state in which they were after they were created; and they must have remained forever, and had no end.

    23 And they would have had no achildren; wherefore they would have remained in a state of innocence, having no bjoy, for they knew no misery; doing no good, for they knew no csin.

    24 But behold, all things have been done in the wisdom of him who aknoweth all things.

    25 aAdam bfell that men might be; and men care, that they might have djoy.

    Pasted from <http://scriptures.lds.org/en/2_ne/2/25#25>

    1 In the acelestial glory there are three bheavens or degrees;

    2 And in order to obtain the ahighest, a man must enter into this border of the cpriesthood [meaning the new and deverlasting covenant of emarriage];

    3 And if he does not, he cannot obtain it.

    4 He may enter into the other, but that is the end of his kingdom; he cannot have an aincrease.

    Pasted from <http://scriptures.lds.org/en/dc/131/1#1>

    Elder Ballard Ensign Message (Be Strong in the Lord)

    We read in 2 Nephi: “Wo unto him that has the law given, … that wasteth the days of his probation” (2 Ne. 9:27).

    How does one waste the days of his or her probation? Turning to sin is surely part of it, but there is another, more subtle way, a way that may not seem evil at all.

    In the Doctrine and Covenants the Lord gave a similar warning in these words: “Thou shalt not idle away thy time, neither shalt thou bury thy talent that it may not be known” (D&C 60:13). Why would I speak of that with you? Because one of the ways Satan lessens your effectiveness and weakens your spiritual strength is by encouraging you to spend large blocks of your time doing things that matter very little. I speak of such things as sitting for hours on end watching television or videos, playing video games night in and night out, surfing the Internet, or devoting huge blocks of time to sports, games, or other recreational activities.

    Don’t misunderstand me. These activities are not wrong in and of themselves (unless, of course, you are watching salacious programs or seeking out pornographic images on the Internet). Games, sports, recreational activities, and even television can be relaxing and rejuvenating, especially in times when you are under stress or heavily scheduled. You need activities that help you to unwind and rest your minds. It is healthy to go onto the soccer field or the basketball court and participate in vigorous physical activity.

    But I speak of letting things get out of balance. It is not watching television, but watching television hour after hour, night after night. Does not that qualify as idling away your time? What will you say to the Lord when He asks what you have done with the precious gift of life and time? Surely you will not feel comfortable telling Him that you were able to pass the 100,000-point level in a challenging video game.

    One devastating effect of idling away our time is that it deflects us from focusing on the things that matter most. Too many people are willing to sit back and let life just happen to them. It takes time to develop the attributes that will help you to be a well-balanced person.

    We hear of young people, both male and female, who are so focused on academic success or moving up the career ladder that they “don’t have time for dating.” We hear some say that they will postpone marriage or having children until they can afford them. Let me tell you as a father of seven children, you will never be able to afford them. So just trust in the Lord as Sister Ballard and I did. Somehow it works, with His help.

    Remember, you can be exalted without a college degree. You can be exalted without being slender and beautiful. You can be exalted without having a successful career. You cannot be exalted without an eternal mate. So focus the best that you can on those things in life that will lead you back to the presence of God—keeping all things in their proper balance. There are those who may never marry in mortality. But all of God’s blessings will ultimately come to those who are righteous and true to the gospel.

    Oh, my dear brothers and sisters, this is the day of your probation. Do not waste this time away. Plan and prepare and then do.

    Pasted from <http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=fda866dfc311c010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&hideNav=1>

    Patterns of the Shopper

  8. Celestial marriage, like the most valuable items, gives a lot more value per ounce, etc.
  9. Elder Nelson

    That proclamation on the family helps us realize that celestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than does any other relationship.16 The earth was created and this Church was restored so that families could be formed, sealed, and exalted eternally.17

    Scriptures declare that “it is lawful that [a man] should have one wife, and they twain shall be one flesh, and all this that the earth might answer the end of its creation.”18 Another affirms that “the man [is not] without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.”19 Thus, marriage is not only an exalting principle of the gospel; it is a divine commandment.

    Our Heavenly Father declared, “This is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.”20 The Atonement of His Beloved Son enabled both of these objectives to be realized. Because of the Atonement, immortality—or resurrection from the dead—became a reality for all.21 And because of the Atonement, eternal life—which is living forever in God’s presence, the “greatest of all the gifts of God”22—became a possibility. To qualify for eternal life, we must make an eternal and everlasting covenant with our Heavenly Father.23 This means that a temple marriage is not only between husband and wife; it embraces a partnership with God.24

  10. Temple symbolism: TOGETHER IN CHRIST
  11. The family proclamation also reminds us that “husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other.”25 Children born of that union are “an heritage of the Lord.”26 When a family is sealed in the temple, that family may become as eternal as the kingdom of God itself.27

    Meanwhile, mortal misunderstandings can make mischief in a marriage. In fact, each marriage starts with two built-in handicaps. It involves two imperfect people. Happiness can come to them only through their earnest effort. Just as harmony comes from an orchestra only when its members make a concerted effort, so harmony in marriage also requires a concerted effort. That effort will succeed if each partner will minimize personal demands and maximize actions of loving selflessness.

    Pasted from <http://www.lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-947-28,00.html>

    President Hinckley

    Jesus declared, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matt. 19:6).

    The word man is used in the generic sense, but the fact is that it is predominantly men who bring about the conditions that lead to divorce.

    After dealing with hundreds of divorce situations through the years, I am satisfied that the application of a single practice would do more than all else to solve this grievous problem.

    If every husband and every wife would constantly do whatever might be possible to ensure the comfort and happiness of his or her companion, there would be very little, if any, divorce. Argument would never be heard. Accusations would never be leveled. Angry explosions would not occur. Rather, love and concern would replace abuse and meanness.

    There was a popular song we sang many years ago, the lyrics of which said:

    I want to be happy,

    But I won’t be happy

    Till I make you happy, too.

    (Irving Caesar, “I Want to Be Happy” [1924])

    How true this is.

    Every woman is a daughter of God. You cannot offend her without offending Him. I plead with the men of this Church to look for and nurture the divinity that lies within their companions. To the degree that happens, there will be harmony, peace, enrichment of family life, nurturing love.

    Well did President McKay remind us that “no other success [in life] can compensate for failure in the home” (quoted from J. E. McCulloch, Home: The Savior of Civilization [1924], 42; in Conference Report, Apr. 1935, 116).

    Likewise, the truth of which President Lee reminded us: “The [greatest] work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own home” (“Maintain Your Place as a Woman,” Ensign, Feb. 1972, 51).

    The cure for most marital troubles does not lie in divorce. It lies in repentance and forgiveness, in expressions of kindness and concern. It is to be found in application of the Golden Rule.

    It is a scene of great beauty when a young man and a young woman join hands at the altar in a covenant before God that they will honor and love one another. Then how dismal the picture when a few months later, or a few years later, there are offensive remarks, mean and cutting words, raised voices, bitter accusations.

    It need not be, my dear brothers and sisters. We can rise above these mean and beggarly elements in our lives (see Gal. 4:9). We can look for and recognize the divine nature in one another, which comes to us as children of our Father in Heaven. We can live together in the God-given pattern of marriage in accomplishing that of which we are capable if we will exercise discipline of self and refrain from trying to discipline our companion.

    Pasted from <http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=f5b5a7b37c11c010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&hideNav=1>

    Elder Nelson

    The best choice is a celestial marriage. Thankfully, if a lesser choice has previously been made, a choice can now be made to upgrade it to the best choice. That requires a mighty change of heart37 and a permanent personal upgrade.38 Blessings so derived are worth all efforts made.39

    The full realization of the blessings of a temple marriage is almost beyond our mortal comprehension. Such a marriage will continue to grow in the celestial realm. There we can become perfected.40 As Jesus ultimately received the fulness of the glory of the Father,41 so we may “come unto the Father . . . and in due time receive of his fulness.”42

    Pasted from <http://www.lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-947-28,00.html>

Thursday, February 5, 2009

I Feel Deflated Part II

The images which surround this post tell the tale of my hour-long punishment tonight. I honestly can't remember the last time I slapped on some Bermuda shorts (I don't know if I had ever heard of this term before), kissed my wife good bye, and headed off for some manly, sweaty action. That could actually be because I haven't played a substantive game of basketball since before I was married . . . or maybe even before my mission for that matter (started Feb. 2004). The F-word might contest this declaration but regardless, it's been a while.

For those of you with more decades than you have automobiles, you know what this feels like (not dissimilar to the descriptive display presented here).

Since I've almost got a quarter of a century on my own odometer, I don't want to cry about anything, but my lungs are about as dependable as a Ford Pinto. I could swear that I heard Sparky Pulastri yell from the bleachers, "You, you have weak lungs!" Honestly, my chest literally felt like it was on, well, fire. (Hence the image.)

I'm not sure if I'm just more out of shape than the Newman character on Toy Story (you know, the chicken suit crazy from Al's Toy Barn) or if my lungs are seriously messed up. One thing's for sure though:

There's nothing like a bunch of salty, unskilled, uncoordinated, and grown men playing ball. This is the stuff really weird children's books are made of!

Bamboozled Gaze


I came across the glamorous picture to your left this evening, thanks to my jammin' "Survivor Radio" on Pandora. Needless to say, I was a little taken aback . . .

Yes, for all of you out there, *cough* old enough to remember hair styles like this one (at least when they were common) I can only ask one thing:

WHY???

The dude (I presume it's a man) in the bottom right corner looks like he's screaming, "My music might only have the same allure as chewing broken glass, but at least I've got GORGEOUS, flowing locks and a fan to blow them with!!"

The chick, err, person on the left seems to wonder, "Bro, are you guys like taking the picture yet?"

How did clowns like these ever make money or gain any shred of popularity, for that matter? I almost feel insulted that this kind of "hair style" is a part of my "American heritage."

Hey, girls, Rapunzel wants you to give her long hair back!

I Feel Deflated


No, I'm not talking about my emotions and I won't even require you to validate my feelings on this one. For those of you who know me also know that my wife and I have an inflatable bed. That's right, I'm proud to say it. Seriously, though, we both love it and it makes moves a lot easier.

Anyway.

One night, Christy and I woke up and some unknown force had humbled our bed and leveled it to the ground (well, almost). Being seven months pregnant, you can imagine that Christy was not a big fan of this . . . So as I continued my not-so-comfortable slumber, my wife investigated the situation and sluethed out the problem: a tiny cre-vass (crack) in one of the creases. As young fathers would say, "Good eye, son, good eye!" (And ears, I suppose.)

So, being the handy fix-it man that I am (uproarious laughter), I set to work (although "not at [that] precise moment . . . Amadeus fans) and scratched my head. I tried tacky glue, I tried tape, I tried Elmer's glue (hey, stop laughing already) and we even busted out some "official" air mattress patches. Unfortunately, the bed is fuzzier than a Georgia peach; no dice.

Finally, being the fiscally sound Scrooge that I am, the light bulb dinged in my mind and I had it!

SU-PER-GLUE!!

Sadly, the superglue, in and of itself, didn't seem to do the trick and so I resorted to the clever concoction you now see before you.

And you wondered why they call me D-Money (when I'm not referred to as the C.A.). I will now accept your applause.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Today's Spiritual Message: LDS Temples

There is often a lot of confusion about Latter-day Saint or Mormon temples.

Why do LDS have them? Are they worshiping Lucifer in there? Why are they so big and grandiose?

Aside from any rumors which you may have heard, let me sum up the significance of LDS temples: They are a place where families are sealed (joined) together forever through Jesus Christ. They are a place where men and women make sacred covenants with God to be righteous, upstanding individuals, and to do as He would have them do. They are a place where those seeking comfort and guidance will find refuge and direction. They are a place of peace. They are the house of God.

I've only scratched the surface, but I declare that these temples are holy structures, built for the purpose of ennobling mankind and of reconciling him with Deity. They have nothing to do with Lucifer (other than how to avoid him) and everything to do with Jesus Christ. The symbols therein all point to Christ. I declare Him to be the Son of God and the only source of true salvation in every sense of the word.

The following video clip is from President Boyd K. Packer, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. He speaks about some of the work that goes on in the temple and how it is a place of refuge and guidance.


Click here for more similar video clips.

Click here to learn more about LDS (Mormons).

Click here to learn more about LDS temples.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Mitt Romney for President 2012


You might think that my support of Mitt Romney is only skin deep, but it's not.

I thoroughly agree with the vast majority of his ideas.

This speech, probably 10-15 minutes, goes out to Seley (not Smiele) and all of my die-hard Obama friends out there. As always, don't get me wrong, I want President Obama to succeed, I just don't think that he's going about it the right way.

Here's the address:

Mitt Romney speech.

Link is courtesy of the Fletchword.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

THE COOLEST SURVEY EVER

I won't go into my spiel about how awesome Qualtrics is, but needless to say, it's pretty dang cool.

Click here to take the super gravy survey that I put together.

It will probably take you less than 30 seconds. You can take it as many times as you want (please do) and you should find some fun surprises here and there.

Once you've taken it, spread the word to your friends and associates about how dynamic it is; we want everyone to experience Qualtrics!

Smiele Gets His Shout Out

I can't remember which day of the week it was, but in it one "Great" Scott Miele approached me with puppy dog eyes and whimpered something to the tune of, "Geez dawg, can't I even get a shout out on your blog?" Quick thinking, I retorted, "Well hey, you didn't get bronchitis!" But Smiele, not to be out done, came back with this, "Yeah, but you even gave Cman a shout out."

Okay. I give in; Scotty, your wish is my command. In the interest of your personal dignity and corporate professionalism, I'll spare you the addition of the survey link that went with the picture to the right.

You may not have contracted bronchitis, but your surprise survey solution was certainly worthy enough to blog about. I hope that you score plenteous loads of data and that the reporting on the back end is robust enough for you to get pretty granular with it.

In fact, please let me know if you need to borrow my sawtooth as I don' think that Keith's daisy chain will do you much good.

Cheers.

Last Sunday's (1/25) Spiritual Experience: Ye Must Become as Little Children


This one's straight out of my journal:

Sunday was an uplifting day. In the second hour (Doctrine and Covenants study), a sign-up sheet was passed around to see if anyone would be willing, if needed, to sub for Primary. And wouldn’t ya know it, a few minutes later we were asked to substitute! We were entrusted with the CTR 7’s (or in other words, the children who will be turning 7). It was a wonderful experience. I love how bright-eyed and excited the children are to learn and how much energy they have. They are such tender plants who only need to be nurtured properly and they will grow up in the light of truth and understanding. I can’t wait for my own little Maria, to teach her carefully and to wrap her in my arms!

(Note the Maria countdown on the right) =D

Friday, January 23, 2009

Lessons of Guidance from Nephi

*As an introductory disclaimer, I'm not sure that the actual Nephi was this ripped (or cartoonish), but I figured most of you would enjoy it.

I think I've mentioned before that I've been reading in a copy of the original Book of Mormon. Here are some thoughts that I had this morning:

Nephi Finds Food (See the highlighted portion)

Isn’t this a tremendous example of “Seek and ye shall find, ask and it shall be given you, knock and it shall be opened unto you”? Nephi, in simple humility asks his father, “Where should I go to find food?” He is given, in my opinion, general guidance or instruction, “Go due east,” or perhaps, “Go to the mountain that is so many feet away,” and then he sought and as we read, he most certainly found. But what he found is so much more than simple sustenance for his family. In a very real manner, he found the path and way that all of us should also follow (as did the Son of Man), the path of faith, trust, and obedience, which lead him to promised provisions and survival. How often does the Lord give us the directions that we need but we simply disregard them, wandering in the mists of darkness and often toward the great and spacious building?

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Today's Spiritual Message: The Wheat and the Tares

Breathe easy, this post has nothing to do with fire and brimstone and everything to do with looking at other people in a positive light.

That's right, I'm talking about an aspect of the parable that has been commonly brushed over: give people a chance!
The servants said unto him, Wilt thou then that we go and gather them up? But he said, Nay; lest while ye gather up the tares, ye root up the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest. . .
Have you ever judged someone to be a poisonous tare, only to find out later that he was a wholesome grain or vice versa? We often misjudge others and shout for fire and brimstone to be hewn down upon them when perhaps we, ourselves, are truly the guilty party or poisonous tare.

Elder Jeffery R. Holland recently (Tuesday, January 13, 11:00 AM) delivered a masterful devotional at BYU entitled, "Remember Lot's Wife." Amongst other inspiring words, he exhorted, "Let people repent! Let people grow! Believe that people can change and improve! Is that faith? Yes. Is that hope? Yes. Is it charity? Yes, above all, it is charity, the pure love of Christ. If something is buried in the past, leave it buried."

We often look for the worst in people, only to later realize how much potential for growth they actually have. Let us look for the silver linings in people more often and commit to set their seemingly blatant flaws aside.

My Prenatal Experience

Have any of you ever gone through the hardcore, six hour crash course to pregnancy? As of yesterday morning-afternoon, I have. Yes, the eyes on the ant to the left are also reticent of my own expressions yesterday.

To be candid, I don't remember 95% of what was said, but I do remember sobering up about pregnancy and how real it now is for us.

For the sake of young eyes and at my own risk of nausea, I'll spare you some of the more vivid details and just say that watching the informational videos on hand was, well, intense. That's right, men, labor and everything associated with it is not for the faint of heart.

Speaking of falling over, I guess I might actually have the opportunity to cut my daughter's umbilical cord. As we discussed that kind of scenario, I leaned over to my wife and asked if I should also bust out a bottle of champagne to christen the voyage. I'm not sure if I'll be mentally stable enough to cut the cord (F-Word, you remember the DUI video and the guy falling head-first into the wall?), but we'll just have to see.

To end the rambling, I'll conclude with a touching experience that I had near the end of our marathon instruction:
As we took a short tour of the maternity floor, we ended up looking into the nursery at all of the newbors (well, at least a few anyway) in their respective warming stations. One little child looked a tad underweight and was probably born premature. My first instinct was to (want to) pick the child up and make everything okay. It really made me melt to think that soon I'll have the opportunity to hold my own little girl in my arms.
Okay, men, you may now stop cocking your left eyebrow, and women you can hold off on the "awws." But seriously, all of the logistics aside, I'm getting super-excited for Maria to be here!

Friday, January 16, 2009

Standing Up for the Unpopular

While many are blogging there way to "change," allow me to stand up and say thank you to a man who does not deserve the public lashings he's received: George W. Bush.

Honestly, I don't want to hear about how he's the worst president ever, blah, blah, blah.

I'm usually a man of many words, but in this instance, I found an impressively written article that says it all.

So to be short in writing, read this to see what I also think and feel about President Bush.

Again, thank you for giving it your best, even if the "haters" malign you forever.

Bronchitis Ain't Cool

This one goes out to my man, Kspence, who has recently been diagnosed with an unfriendly dose of bronchitis. Seeing as he was writhing (or seething, take your pick) for the latest and greatest from the CA, I figured that this post would be fitting and that I'd dedicate it in his memory. (By the way, the image at the right is telling of my initial reactions this morning.)

I mean, for a guy who drinks over 80 oz.s of hard soft drinks a day, I'm amazed that he has any "health problems" at all!

Cman: I hope that you washed your hands after using his Kness' keyboard, I don't want to see you on the IR list as well.

But seriously, K-dawg, I wish you the best and a speedy recovery. I would recommend that you have JHarv mix you up some of his magical elixir: Theraflu mixed with Mountain Dew. I mean seriously, what else could do you any better than another stiff gulp of a 44 oz.er from the eMart?

Look on the bright side, K, at least this bout with the B. will probably keep you away from picking up that next pack of Marlboros . . .

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Is 25 My Magic Number?

"What the heck is this kid talking about?" you ask. No, I'm not talking about my upcoming birthday upon which I'll turn a quarter of a century.

I'm not talking about any kind of Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky, or even LeBron "King" James sort of gibberish either.

Yes, I'm talking about the number of law schools that I've applied to. "But you've already told us about all of this," you retort. Indeed I have, but in the past few days, I added the University of Connecticut and George Mason to my long and insanely complete list of schools I've queued.

"You never really explained what drove you mad enough to apply to such a nutrageous (which is, by the way, the CA's favorite candy bar at the moment) amount of law schools." In answer to your unspoken inquiry, I respond with the following: why not?

Yes, I (that is to say we) did have to throw a handsome sum of George Washingtons (the bills, not the school) to the wind, but I figure that if such a good natured gesture lands me at a Chicago or even a George Mason, it was money well spent.

Many years from now, I'll look back on this experience and chuckle. Yep, the meager amount of dough that I've divested myself of will be peanuts compared to even the most minor of legal positions. So in one sense, it was a very sound investment. In another, I'm just playing the numbers . . .

All of that said, still do keep your fingers crossed and your arms folded! While statistics is an abundant religion, I also need all the karma, prayers, and positive in-my-direction thinking I can get.

Cheers.

Today's Spiritual Message: Learning Through Trials

In today's elders quorum, we touched a little bit on the travails of the early saints and in particular, the brethren who went through intense adversity in their journey known as Zion's Camp. For a most likely LDS-biased synopsis, see the following: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zion%27s_Camp

For these men, they were eager to go to Missouri to take back the lands which had been wrongfully taken from them and to avenge themselves of other injustices. Surprisingly, the Lord declared that the time was not right and that the political end which they sought was not to be. “I have heard their prayers, and will accept their offering; and it is expedient in me that they should be brought thus far for a trial of their faith” (D&C 105:19).

A trial of their faith! Many Saints had been mobbed, tortured, and killed. Homes had been ravaged, pillaged, and left desolate. As this is an incredible understatement, I can see why these men would have been eager to take back what was rightfully theirs.

Yet, in their journey, many of them faced hunger, disease, starvation, and even disenfranchisement. These many trials notwithstanding, later President of the Church Wilford Woodruf had the following to say:
We gained an experience that we never could have gained in any other way. We had the privilege of beholding the face of the Prophet, and we had the privilege of traveling a thousand miles with him, and seeing the workings of the Spirit of God with him, and the revelations of Jesus Christ unto him and the fulfillment of those revelations.
In the face of extreme adversity, we often feel to ask, as did the Prophet Joseph, "O God, awhere art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy bhiding place?" The Lord's response?
My son, apeace be unto thy soul; thine badversity and thine afflictions shall be but a csmall moment; And then, if thou aendure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy bfoes.
In the next section, the Lord, after describing a long list of hypothetical ailments says the following:
. . . if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?
To conclude, I know that Joseph Smith and the other brethren were given incredible adversity as a means of making them better. Nine out of the first twelve Apostles in this dispensation were members of Zion's Camp along with each of the initial Seventy.

As the Savior says, He has descended through all things, for our good. I know and testify that as we put our faith, trust, and hope in Him, we will be able to overcome all things. I testify that he was the Man that He said He was. I declare Him to be the Son of God and our only source of salvation from pain, sin, and fear.
And he shall go forth, suffering pains and aafflictions and btemptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will ctake upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.
And he will take upon him adeath, that he may bloose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to csuccor his people according to their infirmities.
For more see this web page.

The CA is a Rockstar!!

At least to my unborn daughter. Okay, so maybe my wife putting headphones on her stomach and playing a long-winded clip of her husband yapping like a 90-year-old geriatric isn't exactly the stuff dreams are made of. However, did you know that your little one can begin to recognize your voice as early as 24-25 weeks? "So what's with the headphones?" you say.

Well, we're all about preventing as opposed to repairing. In other words, since Maria will be plenty used to hearing mom talk and sing (and goad), it's beneficial to get her used to her old man's tone of voice as well. Hopefully, by the time she's out of the oven, she will have warmed up to me enough to let me hold her for more than two minutes without screaming bloody murder. Recent fathers, you know what I'm talking about.

So in conclusion, sorry to throw you another bummer of a curve ball. But hey, at least this is a solution that any of you can implement (so long as you have at least a decent pair of headphones and some kind of recording device). Happy yakking!

Video Games: Bringing Spouses Together


Yes, most of you would probably assume that the wide, wide world of video games is ubiquitously used by men as clever escape from unpleasant confrontations such as in the image to the left.

However, for Yours Truly, it's as Deikembe Mutombo Mulombo Majumbo would put it, "Not in my house!" In other words, I use video games, not as an evasive maneuver, but as a means toward achieving Nirvana.

Honestly, how many men, single, dating, or happily married can legitimately claim to play video games with their significant other (I ain't talking about desperate teenage/college girls who will do anything to get a date) on a regular basis? Not many. This guy, on the other hand, has a wife who is sometimes more anxious to bust out the ole' Cube than he is!

As you embarked upon this intriguing blog post, you may have thought that I was going to submit a veritable remedy for all of your marital and feminine woes; sorry to burst your bubble. That's right, I'm basically blogging to gloat like the filthy villain that I am. I wish you merry gaming and may your significant other take as much pleasure in your second love as mine does . . .

Thursday, January 8, 2009

What's with the Speed Racers?


Take a long, hard look at the cartoon above. Look familiar? Seriously, though. How many of you go to work, day after day, and see mirror images of this clown sack whiz by in their souped up Mazda 456s (or whatever), only to then realize that, gee whiz, there are still like 35 other cars in front of them!

Will there ever come an era when the light of day will seep into their speedy helemts to enlighten them about a concept we call "traffic volume"?

It seems like one of my favorite pastimes has turned out to be having one of these "Speed Racers" pass me by (or cut me off) and then for to meet up with him at a stop light only a few hundred yards ahead. Shucks for him.

Don't worry, "Speed," you'll get there!!

"GO SPEED RACER, GO SPEED RACER, GO SPEED RACER GO-OOOOO!"

Sunday, January 4, 2009

The Tongue of Angels


In the spirit of of the Sabbath day (day of rest), I'd like to share a few thoughts that I had in my elders quorum (church meeting) this morning.

2 Nephi 32: 2-3 reads:
2 Do ye not remember that I said unto you that after ye had received the Holy Ghost ye could speak with the btongue of angels? And now, how could ye speak with the tongue of angels save it were by the Holy Ghost?
3 Angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore, they speak the words of Christ. Wherefore, I said unto you, feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do.
A thought came to my mind. We often think of the words of Christ (or the tongue of angels) as specific good things that we should say. However, I've come to realize that this principle also applies to certain things that we shouldn't say. As Elder David A. Bednar (a member of the quorum of the twelve apostles) remarks in his talk, That We May Always Have His Spirit To Be With Us,
The standard is clear. If something we think, see, hear, or do distances us from the Holy Ghost, then we should stop thinking, seeing, hearing, or doing that thing. If that which is intended to entertain, for example, alienates us from the Holy Spirit, then certainly that type of entertainment is not for us.
Basically, the thought that I had is that part of speaking the words of Christ is also to not speak the words that He wouldn't. For example, He probably wouldn't say mean or hurtful things behind another person's back. But He would, however, say kind and uplifting things and not hold such words back.