Monday, October 11, 2010

Frito Lay Panders to Eco-Villains, as its Compostable Bag Crumbles

Birds chirping in the distance, dew resting on green foliage, and a golden sunrise.  Click here, to fill out the effect with Edvard Grieg's "Morning."

Then, as the musical group Queen would say, "Another one bites the dust!"

Yes, the image below actually comes to you live, straight from the SunChips web site, describing its amazing, small step (for mankind).  There, you can take in what I presume is a breath-taking time lapse of the compostable bag degrading (the video refused to work for me on Chrome and Firefox), some hip info on the right, and even some marketing/investor style pdfs at the bottom.  Mmm, I feel so enlightened - Nirvana is near.

The true path to enlightenment
As the next-generation lettering describes, the "compostable bag is still [there]" for anyone in touch enough with nature that she will buy the original flavor, so she can look out over the green landscape of Mount Nicaragua, and breathe in the fresh air of moldering waste.  Ahhh.  Can you feel the compost, tonight, Elton?

I guess it really is
all about the Benjamins
Sadly, for our devoted Planeteer friends over at Frito Lay, the Wall Street Journal reports that a number of Sun Chips buyers detested the over-loud bag so much that they have demanded a return to the good old fashioned (and evil) non-degradable packaging.  Heck, some folks were so upset, they even posted mocking videos and "lodged fierce complaints on social-networking sites."

So, in an absolutely shocking turn of events, Frito Lay is "transition[ing] back to traditional packaging while [it] put[s] the finishing touches on the next generation of compostable bags."

I want to know who these sick people are who complained about the noise, rather than taking up their human duty to show off to their friends about how enviro-conscious they are!

I guess Frito Lay is just a filthy, profit-driven "business," after all.  Gaia is crashing down all around me!

Frito Lay has clearly been "bought"
by a new generation of Eco-Villains;
Big Oil must have been involved somehow . . .
Wo, wo, wo unto these consumers; wo unto the inhabitants of the whole earth except they shall repent; for the Eco-Villains laugheth, and their minions rejoice, because of the slain of the next-generation chip bags of my people; and it is because of consumers' iniquity and abominations that the bags are fallen!

Surely, Captain Planet's biodegradable remains are squirming underneath mounds of earth, as this cataclysm unfolds.

RIP, valiant hero
Click on Captain Planet for a musical tribute

1 comment:

Fletch said...

AMAZING POST. That song put a tear in my eye. Captain planet makes Wall-E seem subtle in its agenda.