Friday, July 31, 2009

The Countdown Begins (if it Hadn't Started Already)

Yes, in case you hadn't noticed my little countdown clock on the right, it has officially begun -- as per my blog

It's pretty crazy to think we only have a few more days left on the Wasatch front.

I don't think I'd ever be inebriated enough to call Utah home (especially since I don't drink), but it does make me a little melancholy to think I'll be leaving a place where I've spent essentially 1/4 of my whole life.

I've had some of the most special memories of my life here: meeting and courting my wife, welcoming our first child into the world, and earning my undergraduate degree, to name a few.

Maybe it's the fact that I'm writing this at almost 12:30 in the morning (we just put our daughter down, officially), but I think there'll be a lot I'll miss about Utah.

And, without going into detail, there will also be a need to wash some of that vapid taste out of my brain. Kind of like Hawaiian Punch, ya know?

L'chai-im! TO LIFE!!

A Bunch of Pratts and Gits

Today at work, I stumbled across a dude whose last name is Git (I can't remember if it's one t or two).

Seeing as I've spent many hours of 2009 re-listening to the Hairless Potter series, I had to pause when I came across this interesting surname.

Interestingly enough, one of the most famous pioneers (although not of the handcart variety) in LDS lore is Parley P Pratt . . . Am I missing something?

Well, I guess not, seeing as I've come across about 1 million + hilarious names at work this year.

Please chime in with one of your favorites.

For your edumucation, here is some background on prats and gits. (Don't forget to listen closely for their widespread and uproariously funny usage in HP -- if simply for nothing more than its being uncommon Brittish cheek. I don't get enough in the States.)


Boy, those Germans have a word for everything.

I can't remember exactly why this one came up at work, but one of my colleagues, whom I refer to (upon his instance that I not call him Drago, because he's German, not Russian) as the Kaiser, absolutely loves it.

Needless to say, my immediate family will appreciate its historical significance.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

The Inner Circle: Conspiracy Theories

If you frequent the comments section of my blog, you're familiar with how the F-Word regularly accuses me of illicit Google impropriety.

However, today I turn the tables and insist his wife is secretly the narrator's voice in BE's Baby Van Gogh (thanks to the R+H Factor on the DVD).

Yes, Google may fatten my coffer on a regular basis, the F-Word, but how long have you been fraternizing with the Walt Disney?

Put that paint brush in your mouth and chew it!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Ireland and the UK



Okay, now that you've taken it, read on.

I consider myself a generally knowledgeable, well-rounded person. Today, however, seriously jeopardized this mediocre status.

You remember my post about Ireland's LASER debit card? Well, today, I had a followup meeting with that same Irish client.

First of all, just let me say that I LOVE non-American, native English-speaking accents!! I felt like I was eves dropping on a conversation from Far and Away, playing the role of Tom Cruise.

Anyway, at one point I said, "I'm actually going to law school, but I don't know what you guys call it in the UK . . ." This was not the right thing to say.

You see, Ireland has been independent, at least according to my friend, since 1916!

Two things give me consolation on the matter:

1. None of my gamma team members knew either (no matter how they vote in the poll).
2. Some clown back at BYU insisted that Reno, not Carson City is the capital of Nevada. "I've lived there for like 15 years," he sneered, "I think I would know." Indeed . . .

Monday, July 20, 2009

Shameless Promotion

I often reference and revere the F-Word (the man, not the expletive) in my posts, but yesterday he put together an absolute gem which everyone, including and especially my coworkers (and one in particular) will enjoy.

NOTE: If you're not LDS, the post may seem very strange indeed; if this is the case, my recommendation is simply to smile and nod. (Ask me for clarification if you're a little too puzzled.)

The Madness of Mr. Crouch, er, the Cougar Abogado

Well CA fans, it's official, my descent into the legal realm has begun.

"What's this?" you say.

Well, today, when I came home from work, I was greeted by an over-sized package, stuffed in our little mail flap.

Employing my cat-like reflexes and Jedi intuition, I quickly recognized the characteristic red UC insignia, flush with the white parcel and knew it could only mean one thing: LAW BOOKS. (Cue dreadful shock music.)

My wife sweetly cajoled me into a cursory overview of the texts.

I leaned over them, feeling like Hairless Potter at the foot of the pensive, mysteriously diving into its glistening contents . . . Only I didn't see a young Tom Riddle or hear a wise old Dumbledore call me back into his office.

But I did find some rather intriguing legal thought and illumintation.

To be Scott with you, I don't know which is more disturbing:
1. The fact that I received class assignments before ever stepping foot on campus.
2. The fact that I am considerably interested in their portents.

Yes, I truly must be going mad to even consider I might, dare I say it, enjoy my coursework!

(Isn't graduate school ironically refreshing on many levels?)

(And an extra hearty thanks to my wife for fanning my intellectual flame instead of smothering it with endless leisure and irresponsibility.)

150th Post!!

In honor of my 150th post, I made an intricate and highly delectable cake.

Wouldn't you like a piece?

Okay, so I just lifted the image from some other dude's blog.

Can you blame me?

Sound off below on your favorite CA memories (i.e., those which come to mind without scrolling through my blog archive . . .).


I saw this one at work and had to share it.

I especially love the subtle nuance of the remote control on the table. Good times.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Yesterday's Spiritual Message: Consider the Lilies

Having been married a little over two and a half years, my wife and I are still very young chicks (birds).

As such, we have been very used to having worms lovingly placed in our mouths for most of our lives.

However, as we have ventured farther and farther into the world, we have come to the realization that we need to depend on one Source for our benefit and welfare: Our Heavenly Father.

Recently becoming a father myself and recognizing all expenses that come with it makes me think of this scriptural verse, "Consider the lilies of the field . . ." The Savior goes on to explain how our Heavenly Father is very aware of our most intricate needs.

Having this calming reassurance over the past few months and years has been an incomprehensible blessing.

I invite you to ponder these lines of scripture and the invitation the Savior gives us to work hard and then trust in God.

We firmly testify that, "[He] knoweth that [we] have need of all these things."

Finally, click here for a stirring rendition of Consider the Lilies.

Awesome Web Site

I believe it was Friday when I looked over Smiele's shoulder to witness this artistic masterpiece:

I mean, just look at the thing, you know that beaver means business.

And with a subtitle like "Home of Champions," who could go wrong with that?

I particularly enjoyed the quasi-rippled-water effect. Simply unprecedented (at least in 1994).

Thinking this banner had all but quenched my thirst for hilarity, I was delighted when my wife later turned my attention to the true diamond in the rough. Have a look at this "history" teacher:

Indeed. No words.

Trying to be polite and find any fathomable reason for this, um, interesting display, I can actually muster one word: WOW.

If you're interested, here's the Web site link.


Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Fancy a Survey?

This one goes out to my man Brad Jones, the most politically savvy guy I know at Wymount.


Monday, July 6, 2009

America the Beautiful: Our 4th of July Weekend

There's nothing quite like spending the night on a concrete sidewalk or enjoying a scrumptious, filthy barbecue in honor of our most patriotic holiday.

Only I did neither.


I did, however, enjoy an exhilarating walk down to the FREEDOM FESTIVAL parade from our old apartment complex, Wymount, with some friends, the Bampis, and their son Noah.

Quite a joy to get sprinkled with a little rain as we made the journey (which felt more like a trek).

I will concede, though, that the best part of the parade was probably when we got a quiet, sneak peak of all of the floats (pre-over-excited five-year-olds running in the street).

Don't get me wrong, I loved the hampy pampy entertainment of the various high school marching bands, some classic kilt-donning bag pipers, and, of course, some shameless advertisement for a new pizza shop in Orem, featuring a wobbly, and most likely dubbed, Captain Jack Sparrow at the helm of the Black Pearl . . .

However, it was something, shall we say, special (or at least amusing), to observe many of the participants, a look of boredom etched across their faces, as they awaited their turn to leave the parking lot. You see, we ended up walking through the starting point of the parade, just behind the football practice field.

I love people watching! (Especially when they think no one else is.)

Back to the Black Pearl.

Nothing screams PATRIOTISM! quite like some pirate dressed employees, earnestly endeavoring to rev up the crowd for the good ole fashioned values of pizza pies and completely irrelevant advertising.

Never fear. The pirates and teenagers notwithstanding, we got out of the parade unscathed and relatively unhurried.

Finally, I was impressed to see the stormtroopers keep everything so safe and under control: impressive, most impressive.


Speaking of nothings, there's nothing quite like the thrill of some rosy-cheeked, scarf-donning, teenage boys to make my hair curl. Unfortunately, my wife and I were not blessed enough to run into a certain friend of mine who was deviously taking advantage of ticket-thirsty patrons for all their pockets and purses would hold. The scallywag.

We did, however, find a tremendous spot on a random and uninhabited (at least by other cars) hill in Orem, facing right toward EL ESTADIO DE FUEGO.

We slowly sucked in the crisp night's air, pondered the meaning of life, puzzled over why the fireworks display was so disparate and weak sauce (pictures below), and then cursed under our collective breath for not leaving our post soon enough to beat the heinous traffic backup (at least I was about to, Your K-ness).

To be Scott with you, I was rather disappointed at this drought of good fireworks. Nevertheless, it was quite a vista (no, F-Word, Microsoft didn't pay me to say that) and a very pleasant memory.


Late Sunday evening (though it still looked like aftenroon), my wife, our daughter, and I took a stroll up at Vivian's park.

It was gorgeous. We saw an otter (or muskrat or something), a random fish, and some shirtless wonders who thought they were hardcore, sitting in the back of a truck, even though they were devoid of what they so obviously craved (the attention of women). Sadly, for them, there was nary a woman to be found among them.

Indeed, we do live in a beautiful land (even if my wife considers Utah to be a barren wasteland, wanting of many trees and other lush greenery) and are so blessed for the freedoms we enjoy.

For some more inspiring words on the subject, I direct you to the last paragraph in the F-Word's similarly extensive 4th of July narrative.

Thanks for letting me help put you to sleep. Remember me (as in give me credit) when you wake up.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Our Daughter Diptych

I wrote a response paper on the Marilyn version for my undergrad.

My wife is quite an artiiist herself, huh?

Our Adorable Bunny

This one, of course, speaks for itself.

Friday, July 3, 2009


This post is possible, mostly thanks to a buddy at work I call JSnow Ninja. Well done, Harry, well done!

How many of you love the fact that the Chrome browser skin is so clean and takes away that obnoxious gray bar from the bottom of your viewing space?

Well let's just say that since my switch-back to Firefox, I was pining for it.

Why not just go full screen?

The issue with full screen is that it can be very helpful to have a quick glimpse of what's going on in various tabs (e.g., has my wife sent me a chat in Gmail that I simply didn't hear/notice?) and the full-full screen removes this quick glance ability.

I just now (after having used FF in full screen mode for ages and not realizing this trick was possible) figured out I can have a semi-full screen (tabs and awesome-bar still visible) without the toolbar and waste-of-space bar.

You may balk, but these three subtractions on my 14.1" laptop are substantial!

See for yourself.

I would have gone with Chromifox Extreme (tabs on the top), but I found that in full-screen mode (my only mode), the navigation bar would intermix with the tabs, and this was very distracting.

Let me know what you think and what questions you have.


Switching BACK (to Firefox)

Yes, this may come as quite a shock to some of you.

For many moons I've flown the flag of Chrome high and proud.

So what prompted the switch back? I mean, after all, as the F-Word often hints, aren't I just a Google employee/blind sheep?

Well, I am a huge fan of keyboard shortcuts (which is probably a massive understatement) and navigating things in Chrome requires a lot of extra pinkie work and my wrist was just feeling too inflamed to go on with Chrome.

The image at the left is an adequate portrayal of how my wrist/hand/pinkie still feel thanks to Chrome's lack of Find As You Type (FAYT).

In essence, the major reason I switched to Chrome was for the far superior speed it rendered.

However, today at work I had just had enough and felt like my pinkie would fall/break off if I didn't switch back.

Yet, to my great surprise and delight, when I opened up Firefox again and decided to check for updates, I found that the new Firefox 3.5 update was out for download.

Man alive, it is really up to twice as fast as Firefox 3 and just as fast as Chrome in SalesForce (where I live, breathe, and spend all day at work).

Thus, the three major issues I missed in my good ole Firefox are no longer issues:

1. No AdBlock (this is huge, because AdSweep works, but it loads the ads in the background . . . this means slower page loads, sometimes slower than FF 3).
2. No FAYT (I think I've demonstrated why this is important to me).
3. No email template support in SalesForce.
4. No easy image resizing (since I play around in Blogger/Gmail quite a bit, this was a huge inconvenience).

I feel like a new man again!!! HOW I'VE MISSED MY AdBlock and FAYT!!!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009


Today, as I was making a phone call to an association in Canada, I got a message saying the office was closed and to call back during normal business hours . . . I was puzzled.

However, once I took a closer look at my You Might Be a Redneck If . . . calendar tonight, I figured things out.

It appears that Canada Day, held on July 1, is pretty much the equivalent of the United States' Fourth of July. But, admittedly, I could be mistaken (it has happened to me before, believe it or not).

To be Scott with you, I don't think of Canada much unless it comes to hockey, a few movie stars (e.g., Mike Myers, Jim Carrey, etc.), killer maple syrup, some not-so-distant cousins, or that funny I am Canadian! commercial.

Who knew that today is "Canada's Birthday"?

Anyway, make sure you take my fun poll at the right and HAPPY CANADA DAY to all of my Canadian cousins and friends!!