Sunday, November 6, 2011

Tangled Hairless

Tangled.  I've been hinting to the F-Word I would do this post, for some time, now.

Back when I saw previews for Tangled, I more or less shrugged and went on with my life.  Then, about two or three months ago, I believe my wife was losing her sanity with our daughter, so she purchased an iSomething version of Tangled.

I'm surprised to say I was quite delighted with the film.  Being a father of a daughter, now, I'm much more concerned about the modesty (or lack thereof) and innuendos in princess movies than I used to be.

I enjoyed this film's plot-line and particularly the rare fact that, for once, the princess actually had a mother and a father.  Yes, I know things can happen to parents:  My father passed away when I was seven.  On the other hand, I've been dazed and confused about parental-princess situations for so long, now, it's true.  Regarding Tangled and as the F-Word described, nearly one year ago, I felt rather choked up, during the movie, especially to see the king lament the ongoing absence of his sweet princess, after some seventeen years.  I still feel pained to think of losing my own daughter and how devastated I would feel.

So, as the F-Word did, I strongly recommend this film to anyone seeking out a wholesome and uplifting princess movie (or simply a Disney movie with a decent plot, some adventure, emotion, and a lot of laughs).

Hairless.  Now to the part of this post's title I'd actually been hinting at:  Hairless 7 Part Dos.  While I'm generally inclined to give my every last thought on something, today, I'll try to keep it short and sweet for you:  I disliked this movie.

Call me a purist. Call me boring.  All I ask is that you, gentle reader, consider what the film did to an exceptional novel:  In the words of Paul, "As we said before, so say I now again, If any man preach any other Hairless unto you than that ye have received, let him be accursed."

Okay, okay, I'm the first to admit a movie is incapable of capturing every marvelous detail from such a glorios novel (even in 276 minutes or 4.6 hours, combining the two movies).  On the other hand, why is it the filmmakers have constantly changed the plot-line, broken the everlasting goodness?

Rather than produce a ten-page, bullet-point list of serious infractions, I'll simply recount three, here, that come immediately to mind:  1) Hairless and V-Mart grabbing each other around the neck, jumping off a tower, and zooming all through the castle.  What in the wide, wide world of sports?  2) Rather than V-Mart leaving Snape in a cold and pitiless manner, we have Hollywood gore, with blood splattered walls and Snape convulsing against them.  Honestly.  3) Hermoine and Ron try to kill the snake by chucking rocks at it, and it dodges them, just getting annoyed.  Wow.  In my mind, 3) and 1) are almost up there with Vader screaming, "Noooo!" after Emperor Palpatine almost nervously informs him he killed Padme.

In sum, I was revolted with how often the film tangled up the novel's previously crisp story or gratuitously added unnecessary Tom-foolery (wink, wink).  In a day where movies drip with extravagant bursts of action and brief tweets of plot, I suppose what I've written is exactly why the film is one of the highest grossing productions of all time . . .

7 comments:

Christy said...

Let's not forget the incredible cinematography of when Bellatrix and then Voldemort exploded into a million pieces. That artistry brought tears to my eyes.

Cougar Abogado said...

Wow. I totally forget those explosions. I guess I truly am susceptible to memory loss, after a few months and a number of pixels on the big screen.

Fletch said...

I understand where you are coming from. Nothing will ever capture the book and I'm sad for people who have just watched the movies and never read the real story. The HISHE version is totally awesome though.

Rock Solid said...

I agree totally with you Dan. I truly missed the banter between Harry and V-Mart at the end of the book. I was actually waiting for it and then he was gone. The movie seemed to end so abruptly for me. I actually enjoyed Harry grabbing V-mart and jumping off of the bridge and loved Neville Longbottoms lines.

Cougar Abogado said...

Thanks for the comments. What's the HISHE version?

Zachary Pierre said...

Come on Dan, it wasn't that bad. My only complaint about the movie was that after V was dead, it was just back to business as usual - no celebration or anything like that. The tandem base jump was a little weird, but I knew they wouldn't be able to put the full dialogue in there; it just wouldn't work in a movie. I thought it was pretty entertaining overall, and the Gringotts breakout was very well done in my opinion. As for Tangled, I felt the same way. Yawned at the trailer, very much enjoyed the movie.

Cougar Abogado said...

I think I simply prefer plot over action. After all, how can I expect a two+ hour movie to develop the same kind of plot richness and structure as a two thousand+ page novel?