Saturday, May 21, 2011

Careful Closing the Dumpster: Something Might Leap Out at You

Here I was, lamenting how bored I felt, with my wife shooting a wedding (photography, rather than guns), chrome and other news essentially evaporated (even the rapture failed to materialize and make my desolation more exciting), and my daughter fast asleep.  To assuage my lamentations, I decided to take out the trash, which consisted of two bags of diapers . . .

Over the past day or two, I've felt rather zealous about closing our two dumpsters' doors -- all four of them.  Why?  Well, the other night, I went to throw out some trash when I heard something fall on the ground.  I assumed the worst, yet found only some trash, which looked like it might have fallen from a bag with some tear marks in it.  Failing to see anything living, other than the heaps of trash, I went on my merry way.

The next day, I obtained my evidence:  A bandit-faced creature, skulking near one of our dumpsters and trying to look pitiable.  I starred it down and it tucked it's tail and ran for the hills (which were only a few feet away, anyway).

Now I imagine you can now understand my conviction for securing the dumpster doors (even if someone else left one or more open).

Finally, we end where I began:  Depositing some valuables into the dumpster.

With proactive zeal in my heart and bodily safety on my mind, I approached the far side dumpster, as one of its doors stood already ajar.  After delivering my fragrant treasures, I went to close the dumpster door when, "Yeaaaaaaaahhhh!!" some animal shot out -- thankfully, away from me -- and booked it like a teenage-girl running to procure the latest Twilight installment.  After overcoming heart failure and flashing images of rabid claws sinking into my flesh and long nights in a stiff hospital bed, I caught my breath and slowly walked away, thankful to have my skin and good health intact, ready to take the trash out another day.

Okay, so the title is slightly misleading
Cute and cuddly, eh?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sounds like its time to get a gun. Don't you live in Cincinati?

Christy said...

Hey, maybe we can train one of them, like my squirrel pet Trixie and that could save us money on buying a pet!

Cougar Abogado said...

Winning!