The HOTTEST Hang Outs in Orem:

In O-town, we be crazalackin, baby!

You know it, baby. Yeeeah. We got mad hizzle dizzles such as:

THE OREM PUBLIC LIBRARY

I'm not even joking on this one.

My wife and I went there last night to pick up a few books and bust out (what I then hoped would be a good) a Hairless flick and even wounded up scoring Revenge of the Sith (hey, haven't seen it in like three years, so I was due for a little SW action).

Yes, the librarian in the picture on the right truly personifies the pure and uncontrolled energy at Orem's Public Library. (Make sure you click on the image to get a life-sized and uproarious version. I especially love the contrast on the faces of the two boys, front and center.)

Seriously, though, when we went to the check out, there were like 15 kids running around and at least six baggy-eyed-looking parents. Quite the digs.

And if all of this wasn't enough, right after my wife got our stuff checked out, she motioned for me to follow her somewhere. Where are we going? I thought. We headed toward some music in a back corner and I was presented with a scene full of children, young families, and a band of bro-nameths that looked something like a younger version of this brawg, who's dude-dawgin to the right.

To top it all off, this library has like four different areas all connected by Zelda Forest Temple-esque walkways in an outside atmosphere furnished with trees, bricks, and greenery.

If you're not going bar hopping next Friday night, you may want to try kickin it at the Orem Public Libary.

Finally, the second most bangin partay in Orem is:

THE MACEY'S SIXTY-CENT ICE CREAM LINE

I kid you not, the line to get $.60 ice cream at the local Macey's in Orem on Friday night is at least 15 people long. (I know because I've walked past it with my wife, buying groceries.)

Yes, the ice cream is good . . . but it's not 15-people-in-a-line good.

Why then do so many Oremites line up for a little soft-serve? I presume it can only be one of three things:

1. People in Orem (like me) have nothing better to do.

2. People in Orem are cheap (like me).

3. People in Orem are impoverished (also like me).